A week and a half ago, I was diagnosed with Scleroderma (Systemic Sclerosis)
I have to admit, the first couple of days were filled with so much emotional distress. I was confused. I had a million things going on inside my head and I didn’t know where to start.
The thought of not seeing my children grow up scared me the most. Will they remember me? Will they remember how much I love them?
As the days went by, researching about my disease and learning more about it has brought us more hope than fear. It also allowed for us to figure out things that we need to cope and live a life with Scleroderma.
I have the most wonderful husband in the world. He hasn’t stopped learning about my disease from the time we found it. He takes care of me and makes sure that my days are easier. I can’t imagine anyone else loving me this much and going through this with me other than him. I’m glad he’s been a rock during this time. He makes me happy.
My family has been amazing! Friends have been so supportive. I’ve never felt this much love ever! Encouragement and prayers keep coming and God’s peace is overtaking my anxieties.
There is so much to do, and with God’s leading, I’ll do what He wants me to accomplish even with this challenge. =)
And as far as my initial fear about my children growing up, well, I’ve realized that God has allowed me to be a part of their life up to this long and since only He knows how long we all have left to live, it’s my responsibility to make an impact in the lives of my children every waking moment. I have to make sure that I show them love in everything I do, because everything else outside of that is in God’s hands.
Being reminded of how short life maybe, I’m learning a couple of things…
to Slow Down and Don’t Worry, because God has everything under control
to Learn Humbly, because God wants us to rely on Him to get the job done right
to Do Everything in love, because we can touch others people’s lives when we do
and to Focus on the things that matter the most, because it’s better to get one important thing done as opposed to several things that don’t mean anything at all.
This is my picture on my first chemotherapy treatment.
I wasn’t sure how people normally look like going through chemo, but at this time, I have so much peace in my heart that I couldn’t help but smile =)